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IMPOSSIBLE
APPRECIATION

Being far away from home has brought a newfound obstacle that has been so hard to surpass. I am always worrying and waiting for the next thing instead of looking at what is right in front of me. This photo essay is an attempt to capture moments and people, that I would usually take for granted, in an intentional way. As I found my depression and anxiety feeling weirdly addictive, I needed to remind myself that my surrounding sights and sounds could be just as addicting. Impossibly, the love I felt while taking these pictures excited me. They might not be the most professionally composed images, but they were taken with a candid love and appreciation for the moment, which is what I needed during this time in my life. 

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I wanted to find a more fun way to complete this project than just using my phone. I decided I would go to Six Points and find a secondhand camera, preferably something old-ish. Thankfully they had one camera left, a Canon PowerShot A95. It came with a carrying bag, rechargeable batteries, a battery charger, and a bunch of wires. It also does not use SD cards but instead a CompactFlash card. This project suddenly became about appreciating and having fun with the camera. It brought a lot of fun to my friends and peaked their interests in what we were doing in class. I messed with some of the settings but I also left them the way they were after a while and just hoped the picture came out okay. 

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reconciliation

This is the night where I reunited with my friends for the first time after a very long hibernation in my cave (my bed). Our friendships changed and changed and changed again and now we are at the best place that we've ever been.

 

Hanging out with my girl friends again was the biggest change. I missed being feminine and getting hugs and crying and laughing with my friends. Guys are different. 

On this night I connected with a friend that I thought I was slowly losing. Loads of mindless fun is the best way to reconcile I guess. It's getting better and better each day. 

much needed cuddles.

My sock bandit came to visit me.

I missed her docile sweetness and gentleness. She knows exactly how to make me feel better. When she lives with me, she will be taking care of me just as much as I take care of her.  

Capturing the real feeling of being face to face, ready for bed after a long day of hikes and hugs. I cant wait for the summer

She waits and watches for me as I grab some lunch. She is a quiet and curious observer which is another thing I adore about her. 

moments with Jack

My favorite moments are the ones where I can sit in comfortable silence with him. Grabbing lunch or chilling out is my favorite version of him. 

He has such a candid, silly personality. I feel at ease around him.

If I am going to appreciate any moment, its the ones that he is a part of. He takes care of me and loves me and that's the type of person that deserves appreciation. I don't do it enough.

let's take a road trip

Taking time to get away was the best thing that we could have done.

I wanted to capture so many things, but I decided to keep some of the memories private.

 

Especially after Maizy left. I was ready to forget school for a weekend and laugh with my friends. 

Jack brought this hugeass hummer back to school. A monster on the road but it's not very reliable. It made us question if we were actually going to make it back to school... kinda a fun thought. 

A lot of things have changed in our friend dynamic since the beginning of this photo essay. Trust me. 

Pretty mountain :)

The way that Jack values friendships has changed my outlook on them. He treats them like family. Instead of wishing I had those friendships too, I decided to do the same. 

a few more...